Sunday, November 1, 2009

Losing Nature

While I have been pleased with our move to Kentucky, there is one thing that I've recently noticed that I miss. I have lost a feel for nature in my life. When I was in Spanish Fork commuting to Provo daily I was on my bike outdoors at least 2 hours every day. I was acquainted with nature. I knew the phase the moon was in. I knew the direction the wind was coming from. I was getting a feel for the weather brought by different winds. I felt at one with nature. I felt like I was part of nature.

Here in Kentucky we've been blessed with a home close to my work. I only commute for about 15 minutes each way, and most of my commute is through the city. I don't have time to see the moon. I'm in well lit areas so I don't see the stars well and there is virtually no wildlife between home and work.

It may sound like I'm complaining that my commute is too short, but that isn't entirely true. Sure, I wish I was riding my bike more, but it's not like there is a shortage of roads here. It wouldn't take too much effort to add some distance to my morning and/or afternoon commutes. It wouldn't take much to get out into the countryside and see some beautiful stuff, but I don't because I don't have to.

This turns more into a frustration with myself. My job is to encourage and help people to make changes to improve their health. In most cases that means weight loss, but not always. Here I am struggling to make a change that I feel is important to be made. Sure I would rather be home with my family and when I get up early I don't like being dead tired when I get home. ... And I'm supposed to be helping people make changes in their lives.

Whenever I think about riding in early it comes down to the fact that I don't have a locker at work. Showers and lockers are available, but only for day use. I wouldn't be able to keep anything overnight. So I would have to keep stuff in my bag which makes the bike ride less attractive. Then I would have the fear of having super-wrinkled clothes all day. And when you get to work all decked out in spandex and shoes that you can hardly walk in, how do you look professional as you enter the building? There is the list of excuses that I have. None of them are that great of excuse.

It would seem that I would need to exercise to help with my personal weight maintenance, but that doesn't seem to be an issue. Last week I dropped below 140 pounds without any effort. In fact, I am now making an effort to eat more so that I can stay away from the emaciated look that accompanies my weight loss.

This week I'm going to work on refinding nature. I want to experience the moon and stars again. I want to feel the different winds and be able to tell what that says about the weather. I want to know about local wildlife. I don't care what I can learn on a nature walk, I want to know the places on the road to expect to be buzzed by an owl or come toe to toe with a skunk. I want to know the animals that are out and about in this area. I'm on a search for nature.


Emily A. W. said...

I know u r smart but I do want to suggest the obvious which is to buy a locker and put it in ur office.
I also want mention that u and my man have a common need to commune with nature. I have found over time that his desire is a metaphors and not an actual physical thing because he doesn't ever completely change his circumstances so that he can be in nature more often.
So I pose the question to you for your personal internal quest for peace and harmony.

What is it that you are really missing in your life that would make you think that being in tune with nature will solve your inner turmoil? In my husbands case I think he says he needs nature when he feels overwhelmed dealing with people around him and lifes stresses.

So in conclusion, I think your need to experience nature implies that you are seeking balance but I am skeptical that ur true balanced self is at one with nature just as Stevens balanced self doesn't need to live in Alaska.

I like nature and love to commune with her so I relate to that plight but I just wanted to give you food for thought.

Emily A. W. said...

Ps. I hate my typos in the last comment. I gotta figure out how to turn that auto correct feature on the iPod. Love you Garrett!