That was the main topic at church today. I enjoyed it. I know the 'right' answer. I want eternal life 'most' and I need to follow the commandments and believe now in order to be able to get what I really want. I'm fine with what they wanted me to learn.
I learned a lot more. I applied this more to my secular life. What am I doing with my life now? That question is easy to answer, I do that every day... What do I want most? What is it that I am working toward? What are my ultimate goals in life? Where do I want to be in 20 years?
I have some vague ideas of what I want most. Family comes to mind first. I envision a time where I can spend a lot of time with my boys working along side them, helping them learn and grow. -That won't pay the bills. I think of helping people be healthy. -I'm glad that comes to mind since I spent a lot of time in college studying that. I think of working outside and coming home sore every night. -I like that. I think of sustainable living and living off the land and within the means that the land can provide. -I love nature and how it all works together, I want to be able to better understand, apply and teach the connections of life.
Sometimes I joke that I want to be an organic farmer. While there is some truth in that desire, I don't know nearly enough about farming to make a living of it. I also don't especially like the prospect of having to find a market for my goods to sell them. I just like playing in the dirt.
I think the place that I would most like to be is on an organic farm, but not for food production. I would want a farm for people to visit. I would like to make money showing people and families how to live off the land. I'm not thinking of trying to convert people to Mennonite type society, but I'm thinking of demonstrating to people that the land offers health. Working in the yard can provide exercise, eating what your land produces can provide health and there is an intellectual, and almost meditative aspect to working and understanding the land that is an important part of health. My farm could be a weight loss clinic, a summer camp and a roadside stand. I want to model and teach a lifestyle that is sustainable and health promoting, and that offers pieces that anyone could apply.
So those are my dreams, the real question that I took from the Sunday School lesson was "is what you are doing now preventing you from getting to where you want to go?" I'm blessed to work for an organization that is focused on making holistic health accessible to all. In part my current situation is a great preparation for where I want to be. I'm learning about people and helping them. I'm gaining skills that I need to develop. On the other hand, I spend most of my time in a weight room. I'm helping people, but I fear that the vast minority of people truly enjoy going to the gym to exercise and will therefore be unable to stick with a workout routine. I think people need to be accomplishing something as they 'work-out'. People need to find hobbies that make them work (and I'm referring to physically challenging work here) to achieve a goal that they are excited to reach.
I'm in a position where I certainly haven't sacrificed what what I want most, but at a certain point in time I may miss the opportunity to pursue what I want most and I will end up settling for less than my dreams. On the other hand, if I leave my current situation before I have enough experience, I will again miss my dreams being unprepared to get where I want to.
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3 comments:
I think you need to take the community garden concept at your work under your capable wing...
Garrett..this is the moment I finally think you said in your blog what really drives you in all aspects of your life. You said "at a certain point in time I may miss the opportunity to pursue what I want most and I will end up settling for less than my dreams."
Don't live in fear. If you want something to happen, make it happen. Don't dismiss what you really want and say it can't be done. There is far too much "waiting around until the blessings come" attitude at church and in life. We learn the false concept that you have to wait and be patient and then you may or may not have your dreams come true.
In my experience, this is not an attitude of a person who has absolute unwavering faith in God. If you know God loves you, and wants you to be happy, then faith would motivate you to move forward with your dreams, trusting that he will make it work out for you, even if you don't know how it can be done.
Do you think he is unaware of you and your dreams? Do you think he wants you to live in a perpetual state of fear? Do you think he expects you to wait for heaven to come or does he want you to feel happy and have your dreams now?
There is no reason to wait. Figure out what you want (to work side by side with your boys and come home sore and tired) and then make it happen without excuses and without fear. Have faith, and walk forward. Aly is probably the most intelligent and faithful person i know. Trust her, trust the Lord, and move forward.
I feel like you've finally revealed who you really are and what you really feel, and I want so much for you to be happy and to have a settled feeling in life. Faith is where you need to settle, and faith requires action. Go for it and don't waiver!
With Love,
Em
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