Dating and Ballets

Today we drove from Phoenix Arizona to just above Grapevine Hill north of LA. On the drive, I put in some old tapes that brought back memories. It amazed me how vivid the feelings returned. I’m not talking about high school, I’m talking about 4^th grade.

In 4^th grade, Wendy Page (or was it Wendi Paige?) lip-synced ‘Straight-up’ by Paula Abdul at a talent show. I totally had a crush on Wendy and her performance was spectacular. I can still remember quite vividly how I felt watching the song and all of those feelings come right back when I hear the song. I don’t want to be misunderstood; I haven’t seen Wendy in at least 20 years and if I did see her, I wouldn’t recognize her. But I certainly remember the feeling of being completely infatuated with a girl.

Also at that talent show, Cheryl Weaver asked me to go out with her. I also had a crush on Cheryl (a guy really can’t have too many crushes in 4^th grade). Cheryl went to the same bus stop as I did. I would make sure to get to the bus stop as early as possible every day so that I could spend time with Cheryl. I would wait at the bus stop for a long time, eagerly anticipating being able to stand around and talk with Cheryl.

At the 4^th grade talent show, Cheryl worked up the courage and asked me to go out with her. Really this made a lot of sense since we both had crushes on each other and had lots of opportunities to hang out together and do whatever dating 4^th graders do.

Not only did Cheryl ask me out, she didn’t do it through a friend, she did it in person, face to face. I remember how excited I was at all of the opportunities and the realization of my dreams. And then I said, “no”. Not only did I say no, but I said it in a tone of voice that said, “no way, why in the world would you ask me that?”

A few minutes after I said no, her friends came and asked me, ”So, what did you say?” I told them that I told her no. Then they asked why… I don’t remember what I said. I don’t have any good reason to having said no. On one hand, this is a major regret in my life. My actions contradicted my true feelings. Every time I hear that Paula Abdul song, I feel those feelings of complete infatuation and the feelings of regret and denying my true feelings.

At the same time, I look back at that event and think of how different my life would have been had I started dating in 4^th grade. I wonder if I would still have ended up with the wife that I have. In that regard, I am extremely happy that I said no. There is no other woman that I would ever want to be married to. My wife is really the woman of my dreams.

Also, I think of a kite ballet in which I participated. I flew a kite to the music of Paula Abdul. I won. That was a monumental moment in my life. (not really).

So those were my thoughts as I drove through the desert between Phoenix and LA. I had these great plans of how to get through LA. I was going to stop at a rest area or truck stop and sleep for a few hours before heading through LA at about 9pm. Evidently I missed the last rest area. I entered LA at 4pm. I got out the other side of LA at 7pm. I will number that as something that I have now accomplished and never have to do again. I have driven a 15-passenger van pulling a 30-foot trailer through rush hour LA traffic. My life is now full.