Saturday, January 19, 2008


This will be a quick post because I don't like to take the time away from my family on the weekends. Today is our sixth Wedding anniversary. I think that it's interesting that there are debates in the school newspaper editorial section on marital conflict. There is one group that claims that the more arguments at the beginning of marriage the better because that way you work out the areas of conflict early in the relationship. Another group claims that arguments are bad, the idea is to get along in a relationship. And yet another group claims that more isn't necessarily better, but you also can't hold stuff in; you have to communicate.

This argument in the newspaper shows a couple of things. Number one, we have one of the lamest editorial sections ever for a student paper. Number two, there seem to be different ideas on arguments.

Here's my experience. I've got the perfect wife and we've never really had an argument. That doesn't mean that we always agree, we just don't really argue. We discuss, and I love the discussions that I have with my wife; that's why I married her, we can talk forever about anything.

I also married my wife because she is simple. I don't want that to sound bad, a simple woman is often thought of as less intelligent or less than pretty. That is most definitely not the case. I look back at dating and am EXTREMELY grateful that my wife is simple. We never had to decide the point at which we were exclusive, we always were. We never had to play the silly dating games of hard to get or whatever (she just didn't like me at the beginning which made it a challenge). We communicated, not in trying to impress, but simple, straight forward truths. It's amazing what telling the truth and being honest will do to a relationship.

Here are some other ways my wife is simple... I have only seen her in make-up once. It was the night before our wedding and her friends convinced her that she had to wear make-up for her wedding. She tried it and came down to show me. She looked ridiculous. She's beautiful without it and I think that all women are prettier without the war paint. She doesn't shave her legs, even though I do (actually neither of us have shaved in quite some time). She just doesn't care what people think and I admire that about her. I think her greatest quality is that she always tells the truth. That seems like a little thing, but I think it is often overstated. I think most people consider themselves "honest", but my wife will always tell you the truth, she will never lie. Even if it is something that is hard to say, she won't lie to you. You name it, she tells the truth. Santa, Easter Bunny, where babies come from... she tells our kids pure and simple truths. Her relationships are built on truth not trying to impress. That is what impressed me and has continued to impress me for the last 6+ years.


Heather said...
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Heather said...

Yah, the Daily Universe isn't the best source for marriage advice.

You're a very lucky man to have Aly as your wife!

By the way, your family has inspired us to make a few changes. Our TV broke two weeks ago, and we decided not to get another one - so we are TV-less. (I want William to be as creative as your kids.) I also bought the reusable grocery bags and quit using plastic bags. :)

We love reading your blog and learn a lot from it! Thanks!

Vertigo said...

Congratulations Mr. And Mrs. Sans!

Heffalump said...

Happy Anniversary Sans and Aly!

Emily Allan Wood said...

Awww...I admire your wife for her honesty and her intelligence as well. You are very sweet posting something like this for her...Happy Anniversary!