Friday, January 19, 2007

5 Years!

This is a blog. I'm a passionate person and I write about those things that are important to me. I write about bikes, the environment, simple living and my family. Today's post is about the thing most important to me of all, my wife and our marriage.
Today is our 5 year anniversary.... I can't believe that she put up with me for that long. When I was younger (I was going to say when I was in school, but I'm still in school) I didn't understand marriage. I had Jr. High crushes like the next guy and I would think, "I could marry her, she's cute, funny and I like being around her." Then it would fade and I would move onto the next crush that I never built the courage to talk to. I really don't miss Jr high or high school. That was the pattern for most of my younger years, but eventually I would actually talk to the girls and occasionally make a complete fool of myself by asking them out as my voice cracked and I stumbled over every word.
I don't know how well my family knows this, but when I first asked my wife (before she was my wife) on a date she refused me. In fact she refused me a lot... for months. You see, what I learned in college was that in order to make my voice not crack and to avoid looking like a fool i had to make the date invitation sort of informal. So I would go over to my wife's apartment and ask, "Hey, I was going to go to Tuba-fest, do you want to come?" And she would respond, " no, not tonight." That was that and we would move on.
I started hanging out at her apartment a lot and she still didn't really acknowledge my interest, but i really liked talking to her (and asking her out and getting rejected). One day I worked up tons of courage and left a rose on her bike that she would find on her way to school. She thought it was from someone else... Or maybe she hoped it was from someone else. Anyway, I eventually convinced her that I was interested and she sort of gave me the time of day... begrudgingly.
We really fell in love on long road trips when we had hours of driving and talking. My wife is brilliant, and has the potential to do anything that she wants. She's extremely talented and well organized and is really good at getting stuff done. She would be quite successful in the business world. She wants to use all of her talent to raise children and bring them up to be contributing members of society. She is also active in the community in as much as she can be while still devoting the requisite time and energy to raising our boys. And when I say raising our boys, it is more than babysitting. In her free time she reads about parenting techniques and schooling so that in 2 years the Mugwump will have the best opportunities possible. I don't think there is anything that my wife can't do. She even puts up with me!
I've read on several websites about couples who don't see eye to eye on environmental or simple living issues and they spend their lives trying to convince one another. My wife and I have similar views on almost everything. That's not to say that we never have different opinions, but in five years we have never really had an argument. It's also not because we hold it in. We talk about it and it always just works out.
After five years of marriage, I feel bad for every other guy in the world who had to settle for someone inferior to my wife... I feel for them, i don't know what I would have done if I had had to settle for another woman. I get along with my wife better than I have ever gotten along with anyone in my life and I often think that she is the only person to every really understand me and who I am. There is nothing as important in my life as my wife, my marriage and my kids. Even if I rant about the environment sometimes.


Wife said...

I love you, Sans! Thanks for five awesome years...I look forward to a million more.

Heffalump said...

Congratulations! Five years is just the beginning! I remember when I thought five years was so long. It only gets better!

Elderwoman said...

You said "There is nothing as important in my life as my wife, my marriage and my kids. Even if I rant about the environment sometimes." The way I see it, those are not all separate things. We are all part of an ecosystem and to me, being an environmentalist means thoughtfully, respectfully and consciously attending to all our relationships -- with loved ones, community, other life forms, the whole planet. So it's all of a piece.
The fact that your wife is using her talents to raise the children instead of putting them in child care so she can claw her way up some corporate ladder somewhere is, in itself, a plus for the environment because it means they are growing up to be aware of these things also. I admire you both for what you are doing -- and thank you for blogging about it. And thank you for quoting the late Ivan Illich too. He has been one of my heroes for over thirty years. I was fortunate enough to meet him once and sit with him in a small group discussion.I still treasure that memory. He doesn't get much of a mention these days but his ideas are every bit as relevant now as they were back then.
Blessings on your (car-free) journey.